An advocate for "Care. No matter what."

This post was originally written for and shared on NotMyTaboo.com (originally published on 05 Nov 2015).

I support Planned Parenthood. Unfortunately, living in the buckle of the Bible Belt means that statement can easily be considered taboo. Being a supporter, I know the levels of security that have to be considered when attending an event; the discretion when meeting with a group of volunteers at Happy Hour; the hushed way support stickers are passed in an office to other supporters. With pride, I have three Stand With PP stickers in my office, but they are delicately placed so they are there, but not smacking people in the face with advocacy when they cross the threshold. If saying that I support Planned Parenthood is made to feel like dirty, curse words – imagine how Planned Parenthood patients feel if they’re ever asked, “Oh! Who’s your OB/GYN?” (because that really is a legitimate question among women’s circles – just like someone asking you for a dentist recommendation). Take it a step further and question – how do women feel who have had to make the remarkably tough choice to terminate a pregnancy? The decision to not carry out a pregnancy is beyond difficult for most – the increased stigma caused by the continuous war on Planned Parenthood likely takes that to whole new levels.

I often think about the women, the women who have utilized Planned Parenthood’s abortion services. More than that, I think about the people (mainly women) who rely on Planned Parenthood for the array of non-abortion services they provide. A controversial number out there is that only 3% of services delivered at Planned Parenthood are abortions1. As stated in the cited article, “When all services are counted equally, abortion procedures do account for 3 percent of Planned Parenthood’s total services.” Sure, a pregnancy test or a pap smear is not equivalent in cost or severity as an abortion, but at the end of the day, Planned Parenthood provided 10.6 million services to patients in 20132. While 327,653 of those were abortions, let’s be clear that 10,600,000 – 327,653 = 10,272,347, and that is still a huge number. Please stare at that number; take in how large it is. There are enough gaps in service provision across our health care network that 10.2 millionnon-abortion services were received at Planned Parenthood last year, in one year. In the crusade to defund Planned Parenthood and squash the agency, who is going to step in and answer the call for these services?

On the topic of defunding, I hope that people realize two important nuggets of information. 1: Government funding is not used to cover the cost of abortion services in almost all cases (this was decided in 1976 and took effect in 1980 – exceptions center on rape, incest, and life of the mother) 3,4. 2: Government funding is not provided in the form a giant Publisher’s Clearing House-style check; instead it is provided through a Medicaid contract (i.e. reimbursement for service). Here is what stands out to me and I hope to you: government funds would not be spent at Planned Parenthood if there were not needs for (non-abortion related) services.

Let me address the word that everyone hates in these conversations: abortion. I really take issue when I read articles using the term “abortion-rights activists.” I am not an activist for abortions; I am an advocate for choice. Personally, I do not think abortion is the desired outcome of a pregnancy nor something to be taken lightly. I have zero concerns with a woman choosing an abortion in cases of rape or incest, just like I have zero concerns with a woman choosing to carry that child to birth – either to place for adoption or parent herself. In the more popular cases of an unwanted pregnancy stemming from consensual sex, I want a woman to know all of her options. I want those options to include raising the child, placing for an open or closed adoption, living at a maternity home, seeking crisis pregnancy support (preferably with neutral, non-evangelical options available), or having an abortion. I want women to seek counsel from people in their lives that they respect and trust, may that be a combination of: partner/spouse, parents, siblings, other family members, doctor(s), faith leader, mentor, and/or friends. In the end, I want women to come to an informed decision with unbiased, supportive resources and people. Regardless of the conclusion I would come to if I were in this situation, I deeply believe that every woman has the right to be afforded with choices. With the same emphasis that I put on self-determination and the right of choice when a woman has already discovered she is pregnant, I want women everywhere to have informed access and the right to self-determine before she ends up in a crisis/unwanted pregnancy situation.

I believe that if a poll was taken across “pro-life” and “pro-choice” advocates, the vast majority would come together in answering that abortion is not the desired goal for pregnancies. Can we please start to rally around how to prevent these pregnancies in the first place? Imagine if the same amount of fervor was poured into that initiative. Let’s teach our youth about their bodies, about intimacy, about sex, about pregnancy prevention, about STI prevention, about healthy relationships, about respecting self and others. Let’s have open conversations based in fact, respect, and transparency, so that children and teens will come to parents and trusted, appropriate adults with questions and concerns. What would happen if we decreased the shame and increased the access to knowledge and resources? In Colorado, an effort to increase access to long-acting forms of contraception (such as IUDs and hormonal implants) resulted in a 40% decrease in teen births (i.e. unwanted pregnancies) and a decline in teen abortions5. I wonder who could help with an initiative to increase accurate health, sex, and relationship education while providing access to long-term contraception for those interested – all in an effort to decrease the rate of unwanted pregnancies? Planned Parenthood.

So I support Planned Parenthood. I believe in their mission and their aims. They are a multi-pronged approach: health care provider, educator, and advocate. They served over 2.7 million patients in 2013, providing 10.6 million services in the US (note: they also connected over a million people outside of the US with health care) 2. Planned Parenthood is serving a need far, far greater than pregnancy termination. I want Planned Parenthood to be there as an option – for myself, for my clients, for my friends, for my future children. My clients, friends, future children, and I may never need or want to use Planned Parenthood as a health care provider, but I want their doors to be open in case someone needs them.  And trust me – someone, maybe even someone close and dear to you or I, will need a PP clinic. In the constant battle over funding, rights, and women’s health care – can we please remember the 2.7 million people who annually seek out PP for help? These are humans: our neighbors, brothers and sisters. They deserve unabashed supporters who say, “I Stand with Planned Parenthood” through the protesters flanking clinics, the need for security guards, and the shame of their health care provider being the constant hot-button buzzword. They deserve respect and dignity.

---

References

1: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2015/08/12/for-planned-parenthood-abortion-stats-3-percent-and-94-percent-are-both-misleading/

2: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/files/6714/1996/2641/2013-2014_Annual_Report_FINAL_WEB_VERSION.pdf

3: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2015/08/04/how-planned-parenthood-actually-uses-its-federal-funding/

4: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=121402281

5: http://www.npr.org/sections/itsallpolitics/2015/09/03/437268213/colorados-long-lasting-birth-control-program-for-teens-may-not-last-long

Believing, caring, and serving: The social work way

This post was originally written for and shared on NotMyTaboo.com (originally published on 10 Dec 2015).

Four years ago I knew very little about the field of social work or its practitioners. Despite my freshman roommate being a social work major and my psychotherapy professor informing our class that a Masters in Social Work is a great option for psychology majors, it took until the spring semester of my senior year to realize that social work and Child Protective Services (CPS) were not synonymous.  In the midst of graduate applications for Ph.D. in psychology programs, social work found me and I realized that my longtime dream of serving military families in a counseling capacity was possible with that route. More than that, social work showed me that I would have an enormous range of career options within the umbrella of social work, a broader variety than a doctorate in psychology would have provided and a quicker route to practice.

It is quite common for the general population to not understand what social workers do. Many believe that we are only employable by CPS and that we rip families apart. I’d like to use my space on Not My Taboo today to share with you a small glimpse into the vast array of impact that social workers have. I recently caught up with the on-goings of many from my cohort and I am amazed at the incredible work our class has gone out into the world to do since our graduation 18 months ago. My colleagues are literally serving throughout, acting as change agents in a variety of settings.

Photo Credit- Melody Mann

We work all throughout Texas (a solid handful decided to stay in Waco upon graduation), in New York, Virginia, Alabama, Arizona, Colorado, and California. We have former classmates in the United Kingdom, Uganda, and Greece. We serve a huge spectrum of populations: refugees, the homeless, veterans, foster children, adolescents with mental health disorders, children at risk of dropping out, persons on hospice, active duty service members and their families, sex trafficking victims, sexual assault and crime victims, adults with eating disorders, hospital patients, domestic violence victims, and more. My colleagues are therapists, community educators, program directors, counselors, grant managers, researchers, lecturers, forensic interviewers, fundraisers, case managers, and writers/editors (shout out to Sarah: the mastermind of Not My Taboo). We supervise staff, volunteers, and social work interns; we guest speak in classes, teach, edit journals, and even publish books.  Some are Licensed Master Social Workers, a handful are in supervision to become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and others do not need or desire a license at this time.

I’m in awe of all that we have accomplished in just 18 short months and I am inspired for a lifetime of service ahead. We have taken all that we’ve learned, realized the skills that we possess, and gone out to tackle injustices, oppression, and inequality. We work tirelessly to show the world the inherent worth of all people, to serve others with dignity and respect, and to honor the importance of human relationships. We are believing, caring, and serving – just as the Diana R. Garland School of Social Work wished we would. We are social workers.

Photo Credit- Baylor University

This post is dedicated to Dr. Diana R. Garland, the founding dean of Baylor’s School of Social Work. Without her life’s dedication to the field, we would not have our education, our story, or each other. Thank you for creating a school that has in turn helped strengthen individuals, families, and communities, within Waco and across the globe. May your legacy live on in us all.

Ensuring the Waco Police Officers are Peace Officers

This post was written in the immediate days after the loss of Sandra Bland’s life. It was originally written for and shared on NotMyTaboo.com (originally published on 06 Aug 2015).

I haven’t had much interaction with the Waco Police Department during my years here. We crossed paths during my time at the Family Abuse Center when they came to assist with incidents, and I have approached them to seek assistance or call 911 when I’ve observed trouble. I pay attention to the Department’s Facebook page and I greatly appreciate the active presence that they maintain online – providing information to the community, warning us when they are out with radar guns on I-35, and even making fun of police-donut stereotypes.

Due to unjust, tragic circumstances, I have posted several Facebook statuses showing my support and deep belief that Black Lives Matter and Black Rights Matter. I have found myself enraged far too many times after watching dashcam and cell phone footage depicting police officers profiling, struggling to assert their “authority,” and making dangerous decisions that fall outside of the law and their training, often resulting in the loss of lives that had the right of innocence until proven guilty, the right of due process, and the right to be spared of excessive force. With the recent conversation focused on Sandra Bland, my hurt for people – black people, brown people, fellow human people – has swelled even more and is hanging heavy over every passing day.

With instances of police brutality surfacing regularly, I have been experiencing this nagging feeling to have a conversation with the Waco Police Department. In my experience, in my white experience, the Waco Police Department seems to be quite a solid organization. The tragic Twin Peaks biker shootout did cause some questions though; pictures started popping up on social media comparing how Waco PD handled the arrest of 170 biker gang members who had just had a public shoot out resulting in 9 dead and 18 wounded, to other police departments exerting excessive force over black individuals and black crowds protesting.

I do not believe that these are exact parallels that we can draw and project onto the Waco PD (but there is a greater cultural, racial conversation to be had). I would first have to see how Waco PD handles the arrest of 170 black bikers first, how Waco PD handles primarily black protestors, or how Waco PD handles a black male running from a traffic stop. When it comes to the Waco Police Department, I want to have a conversation. I want to ask what the Department is doing right now to prevent a Sandra Bland style arrest here. I want to know what training is occurring to ensure that a child like Tamir Rice is not gunned down. Can we please have an open, community conversation before the opportunity presents for a black man to say, “I can’t breathe?” We do have a race issue in the United States and it will never improve if we do not get in front of it. We need to have open conversations before tragedies happen. These conversations need to include white privilege as it pertains to encounters with the law, the black community’s experience with police, and community perceptions of police. We need to educate the public about our rights for when we are stopped by police and we need to ensure that our police officers remember that they are to be peace officers.

Wacotown, I love you. This is a town with many strengths and many opportunities for growth; I want to celebrate where Waco succeeds and I want to dig in where Waco needs a boost. As a white woman, I have a positive perception of the Waco Police Department and I perceive the department as a community strength. I want to make sure that is the perception of those who are not white, and I want to be sure that our Police Department is remaining proactive so that we do not have to become reactive when it comes to racial inequality and community policing.

Sex: Female (i.e. Sexual Distraction)

This post was originally written for and shared on NotMyTaboo.com (originally published on 02 Jul 2015).

Somewhere along the way, the relationship that girls have with our bodies shifts– through puberty, naturally, but also our emotional and psychological understanding of our bodies and its meaning. I vividly remember the embarrassment and dread that I experienced when my parents (well, probably my mother) decided it was time for a bra in 5th grade. Despite having received the sex talk in 2nd grade and having survived my first sex-ed class in 5th grade, I did not have a sexualized understanding between bodies, breasts, and bras; instead I was mortified that I had to wear this thing (let’s be real- at this age, this “Gap Kids Basic Bra” is like an elastic camisole with the bottom chopped off). My little sister, a 1st grader at the time, found my embarrassment amusing. So amusing that one evening in Target, she found the LARGEST, most obnoxious, white bra available (dare I say most un-sexiest bra) and chased me all over the store yelling something to the effect of, “I found your bra Venée! I found your bra!!” I remember running to get away from her, and I was horrified.

I am certain my sister is in this photograph dragging this monster by a strap, headed after me with pure joy.

Flash-forward to middle school – I have a whole different understanding of bodies, breasts, and bras now. I must have been at least a B-cup by now, which is pretty substantial at that age, and in need of more than a “training bra.” I definitely did not have great self-esteem: I had been made aware of the big gap in my front teeth and the crookedness of one of those teeth by a friend; I had a group of guys publically discuss how bad it was that they could see my panty lines through my velour track pants (shout out to the early ‘00s!); all of my girl friends have these “boyfriends” but none of the guys “liked me, liked me.” Regardless of these then-perceived blows, somehow I had been made aware by now that I had nice breasts (I would bet money that sexual harassment was at the root of that flattery).

Despite the general low self-esteem, I had these two outfits that I loved – outfits that never received negative peer criticism (or do we just call that bullying?). I would wear a pair of jeans (of the snug, stretchy, low cut variety – again, hello ‘00s), a black camisole, and I had these two Banana Republic button downs (one deep red, one black), I would wear one open over the camisole. I thought I was cute – at least when I smiled with my mouth closed.

In 7th grade, both of my parents were working full-time, so I often would watch my sister after school. Lemon Avenue Elementary School had an afterschool program that went until 6:00 PM; we lived on the same street less than a quarter mile down the road. I would leave at about 5:50 each day and walk down the street to pick my sister up from the school. On one particular day, I wore my favorite outfit to school. However when it came time to get the sister, I made an outfit modification: I ditched the blouse. Honestly, I cannot remember why I made this decision; I might have been warm (it was a sunny San Diego day after all), or I might have thought I was even cuter/cooler with just the jeans and camisole. Let’s chalk it up to both, because it very well could be fact.

So I am walking down the block when I notice a white Ford F-150 truck begin to slowdown as it passes me. I noticed the middle-aged Hispanic male driver turning himself all the way around in his seat to keep watching me as he drove by. I felt fear, anxiety, and alarm wash over me. I kept my eyes on this truck as it rolled past—I knew that the Episcopal Church down the street had a turn-around driveway and it made me nervous. Sure enough, the white truck turned around at the church and came barreling up the hill towards me. With his truck turned around, we are now on opposite sides of the road. He was the only vehicle on the road; I was the only pedestrian on the block. I remember whipping around and sprinting for my life. I looked back once and saw that he had moved his truck into what-would-be oncoming traffic’s lane, nearing his approach. I moved up that hill at a pace that my body has since not experienced; I punched our gate code into the call box and slid into the apartment complex gate to safety. I got away.

Here comes the most heartbreaking shift that has already crept into the relationship between young girls and our own bodies: self-blame and self-shame (also a healthy heaping of blame and shame by everyone else). Do you know why that man came after me that day? Because I didn’t wear a blouse over my camisole; because my shoulders were showing, part of my back was exposed, and my adolescent breasts weren’t concealed. If I had worn that red blouse over my camisole, surely I never would have caught his eye. Surely that new truck would not have made a beeline towards me. Surely.

A portion of me knows that this way of thinking is absurd and self-destructive. A portion of me believes it to be fact. In the end, I am saddened that the burden lies on me – the girl who may have been too warm that day or who may sought to be “middle school cool” amidst the imperfections highlighted by peers. Is this why we have dress codes and parents who tell girls to cover up? Is this why I spend so much time now, as an adult, debating what constitutes too much cleavage, too much accentuation, too much bust? I do not know first hand what we are teaching boys and men in regards to how to treat women. For all the times that I have had authority figures define what is not allowed in order to not be a sexual distraction, are my male counterparts receiving just as many hours of instruction regarding how to view women, respect them, not stare at their breasts? I honestly do not know, but I feel confident placing a large bet on “No.”

Back in elementary school, I felt embarrassed for the girls whose bra straps subtly showed under the backs of their t-shirts; by middle school it is a race for who can show the most bra strap without suspension. What was it between late elementary school and early middle school that shifted bodies, breasts, and bras from embarrassing to sexual distraction? The answer to that question requires a slew of blog posts, but in the meantime I know this: I am female and I have the power and burden of sexual distraction.

Note: I have no idea why that man acted in the way that he did that day; I am unaware of his motives. I experienced a sense of alarm that I associate with a fear for kidnapping or sexual assault. I am thankful that I was able to get away from this individual and did not have to learn his objective. Unfortunately, the truck did not yet have license plates issued (only dealer tags with no identifying numbers) so there was little that my family was able to report on.

No Child Left Behind: The American Fallacy

Have you heard about SB 132 out of the Tennessee Senate by State Senator Campfield? Under this bill, children who do not "maintain satisfactory academic progress" and are of families receiving TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families-- i.e. Welfare), those families will receive a 30% reduction in the amount of money received each month. Children who drop out or do not maintain passing grades and test scores in secondary schools will therefore cause their family to lose money until they rectify the situation in the classroom (Tennessee Senate, 2013).

Let us think about this for a moment. Research has concluded that students struggling in poverty situations are more likely to perform poorly in the classroom. Qualifying for the national reduced or free lunch program is an indicator of poverty which also signifies TANF eligibility and labels a student as "at-risk" within the school system by state law. Therefore, students whose families receive TANF have already been identified as being "at-risk" of low performance, dropping out, and needing extra assistance. For Communities In Schools, the leading national drop out prevention program in schools across the country (for which I intern), being a recipient of free or reduced lunch, and therefore also the students benefiting from Welfare, are eligible for case management services in order to create a protective barrier against the risk factors that are working against this student. All this to say, these kids are already expected to struggle in school.

According to this Tennessee Senator, the solution to poor kids failing at school: increase the poverty.

Let me also note that Tennessee only disperses up to $189/month per TANF family, far less monthly payments than many other states. A 30% reduction in payment brings that already low assistance down to a mere $132.30.

I hope by now you are seeing the glaring problem here with this bill proposed by Campfield. While I agree that academic performance and drop out needs the attention of the nation: lawmakers, funders, educators, districts; discriminating against children in poverty and putting these families at increased risk is far from the solution. It is a myth that only the economically disadvantaged struggle in school, so why are only these families targeted by this legislation?

Children in poverty are also at an increased risk for abuse and neglect. By increasing the stress and crisis experienced by families, the state is increasing the risk of domestic violence (which includes child abuse) (CDC, 2012). Children also struggle with developing a sense of self and confidence, this system will undermine these efforts and instead has the potential to fill children with shame and guilt. A 12 year old failing mathematics is to blame for the electricity being turned off, a 15 year old failing biology is the reason why siblings do not have enough food to eat. How is this the solution to poor academics?

Tennessee has 1,784 schools, of which 58.6% are economically disadvantaged and 55.4% are Title 1 (poor academic outcomes). The high school drop out rate in the state is between 4.3 - 6.9% while the 2012 attendance rate was 93.5%. At grades K-8, the 2012 attendance rate was 95.5% with a 98.4% grade promotion rate (Tennessee Dept. of Education, 2012). Clearly over the majority of schools struggle with poverty and poor academics, but children are coming to school and being passed on to the next grades. After one year working at a severely economically disadvantaged high school with students in crisis on the brink of giving up-- the education system needs an overhaul. However increasing the poverty and crisis of families when a child does not perform is counter-intuitive and counterproductive.

Campfield stated in an interview that he just expects kids can do their ABC's and 1-2-3's, yet this bill targets secondary education where the course work becomes more challenging than a PBS after-school special. Often times, the course work becomes more challenging than what parents with low education attainment themselves are able to assist with after school. These families need help, they need real help. This bill feeds into the false yet sweeping stereotype that adults on welfare are bottom feeders with no motivation and drug habits. This bill targets the poorest families of our nation and penalizes them for outcomes that are highly associated with the situation they are in in the first place. This bill seeks to punish the poor while letting the failing children of higher income brackets continue without harsh financial repercussion. Perhaps you believe that since these families are receiving a "government hand out" the least that can be expected is a stellar report card? All of our children in public school receive a "government hand out": their government, tax dollar paid, free education. Yet all of the children in Tennessee are not facing increased stressful consequences when they take their first exam next fall. Never has education been a qualifying or disqualifying factor for health and human service benefits from the government, the two should not begin a relationship now.

Campfield and the Tennessee Senate need to consult the literature and the research on poverty, education, abuse, and child welfare. The National Association of Social Workers of Tennessee needs to rise up to protect these children and families. This bill has already passed through several committees and has a scary, yet real chance of being enacted this coming July. While creating great publicity and an increased awareness of a failing academic system, this publicity stunt (if passed) will come with serious detriments to the people of Tennessee who already live in a system of oppression, social injustice, and discrimination.

Where is the common sense, compassion, and research informed policy decisions? If enacted, this bill will be another example of how "No Child Left Behind" is a false promise.

References for your futher reading:
TN SB 132: http://www.capitol.tn.gov/Bills/108/Bill/SB0132.pdf
Poverty and Education Outcomes: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2528798/
Risk Factors of Child Maltreatment: http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childmaltreatment/riskprotectivefactors.html
TN Education Stats: http://edu.reportcard.state.tn.us/pls/apex/f?p=200:50:3245095726394371::NO

The lack of wealth in the richest nation

Our country's GDP is higher than every single nation in this vast world. Our gross income in 2011 was $14.99 trillion for 311.6 million people.

We can divide our citizens into the following social class groups:

1. Upper-upper class: The American aristocracy which represents less than 1% of our population and derives most of its wealth through inheritance and legacy.
2. Lower-upper class: The "new rich" are also called the working rich. This class represents approximately 3-4% of our population and is made up of the corporate elite, entrepreneurs, and ultra successful athletes and celebrities.
3. Middle class: As a whole, the middle class represents about 40-45% of our nation. This class depends on their incomes and employment is a source of status. It can be divided up as follows:
1. Upper-middle: Medical doctors, lawyers, and other elite professionals
2. Average-middle: Minor professionals such as teachers, social workers, nurses, small business owners
4. Lower-middle class/working class: Approximately 30% of our population falls into this class and is comprised of police officers, fire fighters, skilled laborers, office personnel
5. Working poor: This class is made up of roughly 20% of Americans. These people fall below the poverty line but are employed and working. These laborers typically have unskilled jobs such as cleaning, food service, and farm work. This class typically works at minimum wage and is offered no employee benefits.
6. Underclass/permanent poor: About 3-5% of our citizens fall into this category, often centered in rural areas or urban locations. When working, this class usually only has temporary jobs requiring very insignificant skills.

Now please see this short clip that provides visual displays of income distribution in America.

The American dream and the mantras of our nation are wrapped up in the notion that if you work hard, you will climb the social ladder. People are told to pull themselves up from their boot straps and face adversities with perseverance and hard work. As you can see from the social class explanation above, we are a country of hard workers, yet as the video shows-- that is not enough. Some people watch the above video and instead of  noticing an injustice to their neighbors, they see a motivator to become one of the top 10%. However when I watch this, I see the systemic issues here. This harsh extent of wealth inequality is linked with the perpetual cycles of social injustices that can be seen when we look at this nation's food insecurity (17.9 million households), lack of healthcare affordability and access (our system ranked 37th in the world), sub par treatment of education (ranked 17th in the world), and continued barriers set in place toward minorities (race, sex, sexual orientation).

When a country boasts its advancement and extravagance in terms of GDP, military force, and progressive unalienable rights and freedoms-- how are we still so behind when it comes to the quality of life experienced by each person who can call his or herself a United States Citizen.

If the same graphic representations of inequitable wealth distribution was shown for a country such as Haiti, who would not be surprised. You would also expect that other systems such as health, education, and food security had large margins for improvement. But this country is not under developed by the standard definition, this country remarks on itself as being a forefront leader in all things.

Our people deserve better. Americans should not be left with the intangible guarantees of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness without assurance of their next meal, a doctor who will treat an aliment without bankrupting a family, or an education that does not open enough doors. What does the pursuit of happiness look like to the 6.2 million households with children that do not know how to pursue food for dinner?

We cannot tell our hard working fellow Americans to simply pull themselves up from their boot straps...too many people do not have boots.

References

• World Bank: http://data.worldbank.org/country/united-states
• Johnson, M. & Rhodes, R. (2010). Human behavior and the larger social environment (2nd ed.).
• USDA. Household Food Secuirty in the United States in 2011.
• World Health Organization: http://www.who.int/whr/2000/media_centre/press_release/en/
• Pearson: http://thelearningcurve.pearson.com/country-profiles/united-states
• USDA: Food Insecurity in Households with Children (2009)

Respecting Marriages by Respecting Voters

Dear Conservative Legislature,
            I would like to share with you my support of the Respect for Marriage Act which would repeal the Defense of Marriage Act. In our country, the business of marriage and marriage licenses are left as a responsibility to each state. The DOMA sets a federal guideline which then negates the decisions of majority voters in states that have legalized same-sex marriage. Currently in our nation, 9 states and the District of Columbia authorize same-sex marriages with 15.8% of our country’s population living in these states.
            Whether you morally agree with same-sex partnership and marriage yourself is not the issue at hand here. As a member of this democracy, there is an expectation that the vote of the majority is respected and honored. The DOMA essentially ignores the voices in these 9 states and D.C. that have said, “Yes, we will allow and recognize same-sex marriages.” Therefore, these legally married couples are still excluded from over 1,100 federal benefits and protections that are otherwise accessed by heterosexual married couples with the same state license. I understand that we live in a country still divided on whether same-sex marriage should be authorized; however with more and more states issuing marriage licenses for homosexual couples due to the votes of the majority, it is now our duty to respect these couples and respect their marriages.
            The RMA bill is expected to be reintroduced in the 113^th session of Congress. I ask you to please validate, respect, and honor the votes of these 9 states and the District of Columbia, by supporting the Respect for Marriage Act, thereby repealing the Defense of Marriage Act. I appreciate your time, attention, and consideration on this issue.
                                                                        Sincerely,
                                                                        Venée M. Hummel

I personally dream of a day when same-sex marriage is a possibility for all homosexuals in this nation, across all 50 states and DC. I hope for a day when a promise of love, honor, and commitment is recognized by equal access to state marriage licenses. However, when asked to write a letter to a legislature concerning a policy change I endorse, I recognized that I live in a Red State and all of my district representatives at the state level and Congressional representatives are Republicans. I knew I had to take a new angle to broach the idea of same-sex marriage equality to my representatives.

This country is rooted in the belief that the power is held by the people. This country is rooted in the democratic process and the power of a vote. Our representatives across the three branches of government are expected to uphold, support, and defend our Constitution which is the framework for the aforementioned beliefs.

If you do not support same-sex marriage on a basis of philosophical, moral, religious, or even bigoted reasoning, yet you are a member of the legislative body expected to protect and respect the democratic process-- then my letter is to you. Forget your stance on same-sex marriage, let us remember what it means when citizens take to the voting polls. By continued support of the DOMA, each vote, each voice, each step into the voting poll that spoke up in favor of same-sex marriage equality is ignored, invalidated, discredited. The majority spoke in 9 states and the District of Columbia, yet the value of a marriage license to a same-sex couple is marginalized compared to that of a heterosexual couple. 

Respect for the Defense of Marriage Act is a back turned on the democratic principles this nation is supposed to uphold. However, support for the Respect for Marriage Act tells voters of these states, "We heard you and we will respect your vote." It tells these couples who are legally married, "We will accept your marriage, because your state accepts and respects your marriage."

I hope one day we can honor the inherent dignity of all peoples, regardless of sexual orientation and identity. Until then, I will ask conservatives to at least honor the dignity of voters.